I know how I constantly update my blog and then all of a sudden I'm on hiatus. Things really have gone outta control. I started my degree in Monash, and it was not the least that I was expecting from it. Never have I imagined that degree could be so darn difficult. Till the extent where I can cry doing the assignments. I admit, I'm not that bright of a student, but I did put my effort into studying, but it's so difficult that I can't even understand! Hardest time coping with it!
Urgh, not only that, but my personal problems have affected me in many many ways. And as much as I would want to stay here and type, my assignment(S) are waiting for me. I'd be back soon enough to update everything that has happened in the past 2 months! xox!
So, on a random weekend my friends decided to go to Blue at Cheras. They've been bugging me to bring them there because the bar happens to be my friends'. And my other friends have been really eager to go, so we've decided to go after say one year? LOL. Yes, they've been wanting to go for that long of a time!
Some may have heard of the bar before, PLU? Pridez? Blue? Yup. If you have, good for you! If you haven't, then check it out when you feel like you want to do something exciting alright? Hahaha! It's located at Taman Segar Cheras! Same row as the guitar store.
The owner, my good friend, my sister.
She never fails to give me really wise advices. We don't meet often, but she's always there to give me support and never ending encouragement. Have always thought me to love myself above everyone else. And on that very night, she gave me the most comforting hug! Thank you my dear.
What more can I say? (;
My crazy bunch.
We can be this close and this crazy.
Had a really good talk with Lavinia that night. So much to share, and I'm glad that she understands me. Although I teared a little, but it was all good. (: Heart to heart talk never fails, despite being at a really noisy bar! Hahah! ;D I'm blessed to have great friends. xox.
I always have a hard time trying to keep up to blogging. I know how I used to blog almost everyday back in my Xanga days, but lately I just cant seem to constantly blog about things everyday. Knowing the fact that I'm not working nor studying at the moment, there isn't much to life. I only feel the same and do the same thing everyday. So there's nothing much to write isn't it? Unless I'm pouring my heart out every about how fucking bitter I am .__.
It's Chinese New Year already! Boy time sure flies. This year I don't feel any new year atmosphere at all. I think time is just moving a little too fast, first it was Christmas, then it was New Years and then suddenly it's Chinese New Year. Too much happening, too little time, hence there's no atmosphere I guess.
First year celebrating Chinese New Year without grandma! Usually she'd be the first to wake up, the first to give us our angpows. But this year, she's just not around. Not only that, we didn't even had her cooking for reunion dinner. Damn I miss her. Soon it's gonna be a year, and I still cant believe she's left for almost a year now. I hope she's doing fine.
There's actually quite a lot for me to update, but I guess I just need to find the time and mood to start typing and uploading pictures! (; I'm actually rushing out now, so I'll just stop here and try to update again tonight/soon! (; Toodles! xoxo! Happy Dragon Year!
It's at time like this that you start to think of so many new things. Things you won't imagine coming across if it wasn't for the decision you're currently making.
Another chapter of education seems so difficult. I don't know if Monash is the right decision in the future, but for now it sure seems like the best and the only choice I have. Many times I thought of giving up. Just forget about studies and excel in life and work! But from many feedbacks of friends. Studies seems to be the best choice. I hope I don't disappoint my family. The amount used for education sure isn't a small amount. I shall give my all in this new chapter. Degree in Monash, here I come!
At the same time while all these is taking place, here I sit and wonder what would life be when university begins. How am I going to cope with studies? Will I still be active in gym? Will I still be friends with him? How would things be like? Will I meet someone new? The amount of money spent? Thousands and thousands! So many questions floating in my mind. But I guess what I'm really concerned with is him perhaps?
I couldn't stop wondering where we stand. Yesterday, today, tomorrow and the future. He's the one. (: I hope for nothing but the best. (; Please answer my prayers! (:
There's so many ifs in life. And that's when you realise that there are many things you wish that it was as easy as merely saying. I admit, I'm guilty of only saying. I'm damn good at it. But when it comes to action, I'm no where near to as good as saying. And this upsets me.
Things were going down since half a year ago. And as much as I wish things would start rising again, I can't help the fact that I'm the one who's constantly pulling myself down again.
Biggest mistake was falling for that very wrong person. That's gotten me into so much trouble. So much problem that I can't even handle. ); How to get myself back up? I wonder. Letting go of that one person that makes me happy? Or staying with the person who makes me sad?
Are we wasting each other time? Without him could I have found Mr Right? And without me, maybe he would have found Ms Perfect? Letting go of someone who has given me so much to remember is pretty difficult. Liking someone for six years? When I finally thought I had him? And then he leaves? That's the difficult part. (Note that I say like, not love. Don't say I had a bf previously and all. I constantly had him in mind and have asked people about him)
Or perhaps it's mind over matter? The fact that I constantly say I couldn't do it. But deep down, I actually can? How can I do this when he's all I want, how do I stop trying? ):
I tried so hard and I did so well. At least that's what I thought. Until I hear something from him, my world goes crumbling down once again. For the past two weeks, I put on my ego and walls up high, with no intentions to call/text him. Until I heard something from him, someone passed his message. Asking where have I been, why didn't I find him and all that nonsense. Yet all I wanted to do was just avoid those questions, he ended up calling me anyway. I forgot to bring that phone out and he didn't bother to call my other number anyway.
Agreed to meet later, but again? Disappointed. It's always like that isn't it? I always for fall the same reason, the same thing. I told myself so many times that I'd really forget him. He's not worth it even though he's given me so much to remember. But at the same time, he's given me so much pain. I've tried every thing I could, but at the end. Just his voice, his message, it's enough for me to forget everything I told myself, and all the effort I put into forgetting him. Maybe he was right "isn't not seeing me one of your new years resolution?" Indeed I shall make it one of my new years resolution.
Angry at myself, all the time. For the same reason. And it seems so difficult to seek for happiness. But it's alright. My time will come, I believe.
Lance's birthday party. What more could there be? Drinking, drinking & more drinking. 15 towers of beer, a few long island towers, graveyard, flaming lamborghini was enough to get him down. Basically enough to get anyone down! It was a crazy night!
A pretty drunk birthday boy & yours truly.
See what I mean? LOL.
Weng weng & I! (:
What did all these bar/club taught me? People can be wild, they do crazy things and I honestly don't really enjoy the things that happen to me or the even the things I see. Am I the only one who thinks like this? :s Being the ever so contradicting person that I am, I go to bars and all anyway. HOHO.